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Rejections and the ego


26th November, 2015
I have just had a couple more rejections and as much as I am a practical person it is hard not to start doubting yourself.  It is one thing to be aware this is part of the process and quite another not to take it personally. So I went and reread my novel and I had a million ideas flutter in my mind about what I should have done instead.  I mean it has to have something wrong with it? Right? 

The problem is as I have said before that reading is subjective.  I mean I read a lot and I have ideas about what I like.  I am not genre bound as you have probably gathered from my post Vampires, Sci-Fi, Fantasy and why I don’t write in these genres I think? Part 1(4th November 2015).  The second part is coming by the way as soon as I finish it but it has grown out of all proportion and scaring me at present.

 I should get to the point so here goes. Am I then a good enough judge of my own work? I like my story.  I like the kind of emotion that my leads develop much to their own surprise, or at least his.  Men are slower to accept things at times when love is involved. Don’t get me wrong! I do believe it can be improved but I’d rather readers read it and gave me feedback so that I can improve the next one because I do like it.  Is this a bad thing?  I really don’t know and the sad thing I won’t know till it is published.  It is a cycle of confusion.
         I tried very hard to make Nico and Lia multi-faceted personalities.  They are a book in itself (Unexpected Obsession) but their love also drifts through the series.  As it does this, then gaps are filled in, and we are witnesses to growth because the HEA is great but we all know what hard work it takes to maintain it.  In fact I have designed each book so that we have glimpses into the lives of those who have gone before.  My series is full of people who know each other in one way or another.  My world-building I hope reflects life or perhaps reality is a better way of putting it and I am a firm believer that often if we are surrounded by good people we stay together better.  If not, we handle what happens better.  My reading is based on books that show me this.  Books by people like Jacqueline Rhoades, Rebecca Zanetti , Victoria Daanan, Samantha Towle and a current favourite Lindsay J. Pryor and a lady whose books I thoroughly enjoy but more to the point I turned to when thinking about all of the above – Elisabeth Naughton.  In fact I have quoted below from her and provided a link but first let me explain more before I go any further.

Can you see the problem?  Have you worked out my dilemma?  I have faith in what I wrote enough to risk an audience being critical but these are my thoughts, and who am I? What if I am not good enough? If I change what lies on my pages before my readers have input then how do I know I am making the right changes?  Forgive me for not saying up front that I have had others read it, edit and discuss the novel but again it is all subjective.  I am back to the beginning of this blog, my very first post, do I look at self-publishing?  Some of my favourite authors are Indie authors but I am afraid of the process.  Like I do when not sure of things I find something I have read and look at it again.  The following comes from a blog by Elisabeth Naughton.  I found it most interesting especially when she discusses “Wait for Me” (I have read and liked very much as I have all her books) at the beginning of the post.  I have used only a small section here and bear in mind this is a few years old.  What she is talking about has happened.  If you follow my link and go to her home page there are more books to show us that it is still happening:

Some authors don’t want to be publishers and that’s ok. If all you want to do is write books–then traditional publishing is for you all the way. But some of us–those of us that have that business savvy and want more control over our careers–can see amazing results through self publishing. Will I ever traditionally publish again? I’m contracted for three books with Montlake (a new RS series that links back to the novella I did for Kensington, with release dates in 2014), but after that…honestly, the contract would have to be enticing enough to draw me away from the income I’m now making. Thanks to self publishing, I have the time to write the books my readers are eager to get their hands on (like the sequel to WAIT FOR ME, which I’m working on, and the 7th Eternal Guardians book–Nick’s book!–which I’m in the process of plotting.) I get to write the books I want to write, the way I want to write them, and I get to release them when I want…not when a publisher can fit me into their schedule. For me, self publishing is a perfect fit and no matter where I go from here, it will definitely be part of my career plan.

Food for thought?  I think so, have thought so for a long time and wavered confused on self-created precipices because I am afraid.  Of course I am!  I have a brave ego that is currently in hibernation while fragile ego is ruling my life, ruling or ruining? What do you out there think? 
In the meantime if you want to read more and want a list of Elisabeth’s books then click on her name and follow the link to her website.  You won’t be sorry.  Once you do that then go purchase some great reading either by using my link to Amazon or whatever else is preferred and again you won’t be sorry.  Elisabeth Naughton

Ciao for now


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